If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
