Hey man sorry I got all grabby
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
