You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
