Christians are straight up FREAKS
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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