you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Just high enough for therapy.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
