Sponge bath it is.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
