Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
