people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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