ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
