i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
