I'm drive I can fine osifer
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
