You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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