guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
