so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
