pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Randomize
