every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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