Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize