OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
