So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Randomize