...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
