I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Of course I have a pirate flag
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
