Where are you?
In a non slutty way
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
