And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
My Sexting was not on an AP level
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize