Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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