People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
