I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
organizing the empties. That sober.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
