i will never coherently bang her
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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