He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
