We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
