It's like God shit irony all over that family
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
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