U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Randomize
