The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
