No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
40s are totally the cure
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
