This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I can't trust your balls anymore.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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