I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize