Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
