Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Randomize
