We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
