i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
