dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
