Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
