so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
