is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Randomize
