So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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