belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
My balls are so social today.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
