So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
