Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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