just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
