Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
How does it feel to date your dad?
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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