Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
