How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize