He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
