now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
