so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
this just has baby written all over it
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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