I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Randomize
