I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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