all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
