you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
