in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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