i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Randomize
