haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
