I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
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