she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
